A Thing I Did Not Think Was Real

"RPM esq." (rpm3) 01/08/2019 at 20:17 • Filed to: mercedes-benz c63 amg, mercedes, mercedes-benz, amg, c63 amg, c63

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In a turn of events that I would not have thought  was a thing that actually happened in real life, at least after high school, had it not happened to me this very morning, I got hit on today expressly because of my car. By an attractive woman, not, like, an older guy in jorts—not that I have anything against older guys in jorts, they just aren’t my type. She seemed nice, if perhaps a bit shallow. Into cars enough to discern an AMG from a “normal” Benz by sound alone, too.

Damn! That’s a cold-ass honky. - Macklemore

Anyway, if you ever had any doubt your beloved automobile could help your odds with a demographic other than the aforementioned jorts-clad car show crowd: there is hope! You don’t necessarily even need to paint it PMY. But it’s probably still a better idea to rely on your pretty face and charming personality.

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 20:43

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I have the opposite happen, I talk to a girl and she seems into me, then she sees my car and runs away. Can't imagine why that happens. 

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 20:45

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I can’t say I have been hit on because of my car but I have made female friends doing car things. My results may differ due to my car being cosmetically kinda rough.

Future Heap Owner > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 01/08/2019 at 20:45

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That’s weird bro

Tristan > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 20:47

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I drove my beater Isuzu pickup to a date once. We never spoke again.

nermal > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 20:49

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Relevant:

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 20:49

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Whats wrong with a PMY Porsche?

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > gmporschenut also a fan of hondas 01/08/2019 at 20:49

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I’m not projecting or anything.....

dogisbadob > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 01/08/2019 at 20:50

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Was it an Aztek? Sorry, I had to :p

dogisbadob > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 20:51

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Yeah, luxury and prestige impresses your friends and makes people like you. They see, ooooooooooooo an AMG, you’re somebody!!!!!!!!!!!! :p

And she knows the AMG is the most-expensive version of a given Benz. It helps her look past the C-class part lolololol

ranwhenparked > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 20:52

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I don’t think I’ve ever had a car that attracted women at all, the only people that have ever stopped me in a parking lot to talk about one has been e ither the middle aged guy in jorts, or the middle aged guy in jorts’ father.

I take that back, the orange  Super Beetle I had in high school, girls really went for that one. 

His Stigness > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 20:53

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functionoverfashion > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 20:53

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One of the first things I ever said to my wife was to ask her “Whose car is that?” Referring to a then-new blue Volvo S40 in the driveway. “Mine” she said, factually. “It is a stick?” I asked, since what the hell I just met this person. “Of course!!” She answered, enthusiastically. “It’s the T5 awd, too. I love it!”

Kind of the opposite scenario, but umm, we got along, it turns out.

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > dogisbadob 01/08/2019 at 20:53

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“Wow, is this safe?” “Why does it smell like gas?” “Why is your car so loud?” “Oh my god” “Is this car safe?” “Where did you even get this?” “Do you want to take my car?” -Things various people have said to me on seeing or being in my car since I got it

fintail > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 20:54

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Funny thing, of all the MBs I’ve had, the one that seemed to get the most similar attention was the W126. The W210 E55 also did, the W212s are maybe aren’t unique enough.

When I was a student, I knew a girl who flatly refused to ride in the fintail.

RPM esq. > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 01/08/2019 at 20:57

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They must frequent the VW forums.

RPM esq. > gmporschenut also a fan of hondas 01/08/2019 at 20:59

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Nothing! Just not strictly necessary, apparently.

RPM esq. > functionoverfashion 01/08/2019 at 21:00

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Sound s about the same. Only the genders are reversed (I’m guessing ).

Spanfeller is a twat > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 01/08/2019 at 21:00

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I’ve had both happen. One woman said my car had “BDE” The other one said “You fucking pussy”

I have no idea what they meant. I know what BDE means, but my car certainly doesn't have BDE.

RPM esq. > ranwhenparked 01/08/2019 at 21:00

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In retrospect, high school was magic.

RPM esq. > nermal 01/08/2019 at 21:03

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I immediately regretted putting that in my ears.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 21:04

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My truck only would help me pick up weird old guys at gas stations. Not my scene..

RPM esq. > dogisbadob 01/08/2019 at 21:05

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The source of my disbelief is probably that I’ve never had a thought that remotely resembles any part of that. 

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 01/08/2019 at 21:05

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When I used to take girls in my truck:

“The door won’t close”

“Wow, your ceiling is metal"

RPM esq. > fintail 01/08/2019 at 21:06

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I believe that. W126s have P R E S E N C E.

RPM esq. > Tristan 01/08/2019 at 21:07

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Hypothetically, I would actually prefer to take my perfectly reasonable but very boring 4Runner on a first date and go from there.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 01/08/2019 at 21:08

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My buddy had a great story about fucking up a slam dunk. Short version: she asks if we wants to go to her apartment, sees he has a beat up Ranger, instantly shut down, revoked her invitation.

interstate366, now In The Industry > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 21:10

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My license  plate is popular with white girls.

functionoverfashion > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 21:10

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Exactly. I had picked her up in a borrowed inboard ski boat, which I know (now) was a thing she also liked. She didn’t ask about the boat, but then, I wasn’t driving it either. It’s complicated. I drove her home in a different, also borrowed boat. A 1956 Lyman, 13' with a 25hp outboard. Like taking a date home on an antique Vespa. 

RPM esq. > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 01/08/2019 at 21:11

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About one minute before the interaction that was the subject of my post and at the same gas station, I gawked at a very shiny new Corvette (primarily because I couldn’t figure out how it was so clean when it was pouring rain), and realized my lascivious   stare might be misinterpreted by the well-dressed older gentle man painstakingly wiping down his Corvette’s w indshield.

RPM esq. > functionoverfashion 01/08/2019 at 21:13

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I’d put out for a classy older boat.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 21:14

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An older guy in an AWD GS350 F sport complemented  my e90 yesterday. We talked smuggly about the superiority of our AWD NA 6 cylinder sedans. 

DipodomysDeserti > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 21:15

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I got hit on by an attractive and drunk gay man in the parking lot of a club when I had my FIAT (club shares a parking lot with a great taco place). Unfortunately I’m married, and not gay.

RPM esq. > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 01/08/2019 at 21:15

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That’s more the type of interaction I’ve come to expect.

RPM esq. > DipodomysDeserti 01/08/2019 at 21:16

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“I’ll take the compliment, and pass on the sex.” - Brother Ali

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 21:17

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You’re tall, dark, un-ugly, full hair, well-dressed, esteemed career, etc. My belief is your car had little to  do with it.

functionoverfashion > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 21:25

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lol, no comment?

This is the boat we drove away from our wedding...

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 21:27

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I am so oblivious to the opposite sex I wouldn’t even know if I was being hit upon until after the occurrence, and missing opportunities. 

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > Spanfeller is a twat 01/08/2019 at 21:29

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I have only had my car complimented by other car dudes. No girl has ever liked it, not even this girl I met who works at a VW tuner shop. It’s not Bro enough for her.

Junkrat aka Rick Sanchez: Fury Road Edition > ranwhenparked 01/08/2019 at 21:32

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Girls love the Beetles. I drove various Beetles throughout high school and my military service and all the women I dated loved them. 

Spamfeller Loves Nazi Clicks > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 01/08/2019 at 21:40

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Just so long as you aren’t the losers that try to turn their nose up at my AWD NA 6 cylinder coupe.

ranwhenparked > Junkrat aka Rick Sanchez: Fury Road Edition 01/08/2019 at 21:54

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They really do. The only thing I can think of that might work even better is having a puppy in the passenger seat. 

wafflesnfalafel > Tristan 01/08/2019 at 21:57

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T he very first date with my future wife I drove a 1977 VW Kombi with the creepster fold down bed in back.... I am amazed she ever talked to me again. 23 years later...

Brett Smith > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 22:07

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I have a 2014 C63 and the first day I drove it home I had two people comment on it in a suitably flirty manner. I happily noted this to my wife who was surprised a black sedan could pull that much attention (she assured me it was my dashingly handsome visage) . While I have had a few more instances of this in the past few years i t has become a running gag that on the occasions she drives it we do a tally how many dudes pull up and hit on her during that particular drive . Admittedly, she’s a solid 11 so the car is probably just a good ice breaker.

WilliamsSW > fintail 01/08/2019 at 22:07

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212s are invisible I think. Which isn’t all bad sometimes.  

syaieya > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 22:11

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Back in the early 2000s my dad had an early r129 that i heard women refer to as his cfm ride.

So thats a thing

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 22:20

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Shit just HAVING a car in my grade (sophom ore) gets u all the females

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 22:21

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Yeah. My Mk1 Rabbit Cabriolet gets a lot more attention, but also usually from older guys... once a old dude in a first gen RAV4 waved me down to asked me what muffler I had because he wanted the same one for his MR-2.

A car that got no one’s attention was my Galant VR-4 

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > functionoverfashion 01/08/2019 at 22:23

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Your life is kind of wild

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 01/08/2019 at 22:25

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I work weekends at a family members business. Fore man comes out “you dumb Mfers, that woman standing here” “yeah we helped her” “yeah that late 30 probably recently divorced housewife... shut up Carl you’re married, you two. Hot damn i can’t beleive what I just saw. you think she was standing here for 10 minutes to ask you 2 dumb questions?!?! I can’t believe what I just saw”

First thought: hmm this new flannel must hide my gut well

Second thought: Dammit.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 22:40

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I met a young lady that likes cars and now cursing down the days till the devils only friend is washed from the road.

fintail > WilliamsSW 01/08/2019 at 23:34

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Not being brash isn’t a bad thing. I didn’t choose the car to get attention (if I wanted that, I also wouldn’t have chosen the cheapest (base MSRP) , least powerful model).

Chariotoflove > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 23:42

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My wife said she got chatted up more often by guys when she was driving my RX-8.

WilliamsSW > fintail 01/08/2019 at 23:52

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I like it - I actually considered either debadging mine or replacing the 5 with a 3 - other than deck lid badges, the W212 models are indistinguishable, at least the Sport models ( excluding the E63 of course).

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > RPM esq. 01/08/2019 at 23:53

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Never had it happen to me with a car. Ducati, yes. But did you get her number? 

RPM esq. > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 01/09/2019 at 00:48

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I did not pursue the opportunity, no.

RPM esq. > HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute 01/09/2019 at 00:51

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I remember those days. Also, I bet even more of them will like you if you stop calling them “females” and use literally any word that doesn’t sound like you’re looking at a specimen jar!

RPM esq. > syaieya 01/09/2019 at 00:52

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I don’t know what “cfm” stands for...should I be afraid to google it?

And also r129s are great.

RPM esq. > Brett Smith 01/09/2019 at 00:54

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This is why Mrs. RPM never drives my car.*

* Completely false, she can drive it any time she likes as long as I’m not.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > RPM esq. 01/09/2019 at 00:59

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Wise, I think.

RPM esq. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/09/2019 at 00:59

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Nice of you to say but if she noticed any of that it was after she’d already mentioned the car....much as I’d like to put it down to my executive-style prematurely gray hair.

RPM esq. > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 01/09/2019 at 01:01

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Me too.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute 01/09/2019 at 01:06

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Mostly attracts freeloaders -- romantic or otherwise -- but the backseat eventually comes in handy.

FALCON > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 01/09/2019 at 06:17

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I hope to soon be a part of the bike shenanigans, maybe it'll happen if I'm lucky.

Party-vi > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 01/09/2019 at 07:46

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My Jeep is the same.

syaieya > RPM esq. 01/09/2019 at 08:21

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It just stands for “Come fuck me”

Which is an odd thing for a woman to say about your dad when you're 14

diplodicus forgot his password > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/09/2019 at 08:30

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That reminded me of how much of a moron I was in high school. I had the shittiest ranger imaginable. No tailgate, fenders basically completely rusted away. My muffler fell of on 3 separate occasions,  and yet multiple chicks would ask me for rides home from school. And I’d just drop them off and be like cya, many years later I realized all those girls were into me.

fintail > WilliamsSW 01/09/2019 at 09:27

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You could badge yours as a Bluetec :) You are right in that there are no purely  engine-based exterior d ifferences on non-AMG US spec W212.

I’d probably never go to such lengths - maybe badge it as an E200 just for laughs, but really, my car already has the lowest number possible in this market and wears it with pride.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > RPM esq. 01/09/2019 at 09:52

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I’ve gotten a few long second looks when I was in the Series, but then again I think they were trying to figure out why I wasn’t an old homeless looking guy. Mostly I attract old guys at gas stations asking me what kind of “Jeep” that is... sigh. 

NYankee1927 > RPM esq. 01/09/2019 at 10:01

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So you’re saying there is a chance?

WilliamsSW > fintail 01/09/2019 at 10:09

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I only thought of it briefly, then nixed it. The one external thing that * may* be different is that my car has cross drilled front rotors, but that’s obscure and I’m not even sure it’s a difference. 

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > RPM esq. 01/09/2019 at 10:44

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Sorry I’m a navy ROTC cadet and I’m used to that...we call them  females and they call us males....didn’t think it really sounded that bad tho, I mean c’mon u know I didn’t mean it like that, or at least I hope u do

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/09/2019 at 10:46

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Reminds me of a funny nsfw story about a "backseat" if u can call the back of a first gen Scion tC a legit backseat

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > RPM esq. 01/09/2019 at 10:48

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And apparently calling them girls is demeaning to them (the ones outside of ROTC too) so idk what to call anyone anymore because everyone gets offended by everything...and I mean the technical word for them is females so although it sounds old and strange to call them that in this day and age it still technically isn’t wrong because that’s what they are I mean like u see that side right ?

RPM esq. > HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute 01/09/2019 at 12:05

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I did not assume any negative intention on your part.

RPM esq. > HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute 01/09/2019 at 12:06

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It’ll certainly  be easier when everyone concerned achieves adulthood and you can just use “women”!

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > RPM esq. 01/09/2019 at 12:23

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I got hit on by a dude while driving my Miata to a Miata meet. He pulled up next to me and said “Hey, I like your car”. Me being oblivous, just thought he could be a fan of miatas. Then he is asking me if I like the beach and the weather (this was near the beach). I am like okay, small talk with a random person, cool. Then he goes and asks if I would like to have a drink with him some time because he thinks I am cute. Well, it took until then to realize I was being hit on. I am not into guys but it still felt nice to be appreciated in that way! I said no, sorry and then continued on my way. But man, just the timing of it. Being in my nice girly Miata and heading to meet up with a bunch of other dudes in Miatas . Felt like the quintesential hairdresser moment.

Other attention I have gotten has always been while I have the top down at “inappropriate times” according to “normal” people. You know, in like 0F weather, while its snowing, being at a ski mountain, or while its raining. Always starts a good conversation and I am sure I have ended up in snapchats or something being sent to people with a caption like “check out this crazy motherfucker!”

fintail > WilliamsSW 01/09/2019 at 13:10

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I’ll have to check the rotors on my car, I can’t recall.  I could see those being in the “sport” package.

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > RPM esq. 01/09/2019 at 13:13

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Facts...for now I'm just stuck in limbo lmao

SPAMBot - Horse Doctor > RPM esq. 01/09/2019 at 13:22

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I once had a lady in a Range Rover blow me a kiss on the 405. Other than that, I mostly get little boys that are interested in the car with the occasional old guy asking about it.

functionoverfashion > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 01/09/2019 at 14:14

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lol, was... this was in 2005 when I was 24. I haven’t borrowed a boat without asking since last summer. 

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > RPM esq. 01/09/2019 at 14:43

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I’ve had various middle-aged women and even a group of high school girls ask me about my Alfa more than once. Oddly, every single time it was at the gym.

The older people tend to remember the brand from the 70s and 80s, and are amazed to see a newer model and want to know about it.  The younger people simply don’t know what it is and are wowed by the looks.

Other than that, my experience with cars and strangers has been strictly dudes and boys. I’d estimate this to be about 98% of the time in real life.

But to create an utter social train-wreck on the roads, all I need to do is put my wife in the 4C. Alone. Fortunately, I’ve got better things to do.

HammerheadFistpunch > RPM esq. 01/09/2019 at 15:31

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people that like my 306,000 mile toyota

Land Cruiser nerds, usually people with HAM callsigns and wearing a multitool on their belt.

People who think it’s neat but still call it a “land Rover”

weirdos on the internet

That is all.

RPM esq. > HammerheadFistpunch 02/07/2019 at 19:44

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The third bullet is me.